These sessions are always the hardest on my heart strings, as you could imagine. But the job of a Photographer is also to know when it’s best to really sit back and feel, and when to click the shutter.

I was recently given the opportunity to shoot an end-of-life session for a friend’s grandmother in the midst of her last days with her loved ones. This week I wanted to share my experience during the session and shed some light on the less “flashy” or “eventful”, more intimate moments we see from behind the lens.

So take a seat, grab a blanket and your favorite coffee or tea, and we’ll navigate through sessions like these together.

Before the Session

A friend of my husband and I reached out to let us know that their beloved grandmother was nearing her final moments here on Earth and that they (her, her mom, and family) wanted portraits done before the time came. She let us know that it could be anytime, and that they were hoping for a session the next day.

As I’ve mentioned before on my Social Media pages – end-of-life sessions will always hold such a sacred place in my heart. After losing my own grandmother (we called her Nana), I realized how much it can mean to have these last moments documented and to have in safe keeping to cherish and honor their memory and final days. While it isn’t always “pretty” – it IS raw, real, and beautifully imperfect. If it were possible, I was already on board before she pressed “send”.

So, we planned for the next morning and I got to work on charging batteries, gathering my bag of essentials, and – of course – quietly went down the mental rabbit-hole of life as it was with my Nana around.

Preparing for the Day

I got there early the next day with about an hour to collect myself, my thoughts, and get my plans and equipment together. While it’s obvious that as a Photographer you’re not there to make the moment “about you”, I think it’s also incredibly natural and deeply human to feel as though you’re almost re-experiencing your own losses during sessions like these. In fact, I really do think that having a Photographer who has experienced similar – or just happens to be more emotionally aware – can result in a more intentional final gallery, especially during end-of-life sessions. Noticing and knowing when to capture the right moments is such a huge factor, especially when your setting isn’t quite as “aesthetically pleasing” (nursing home/hospital with machines and signs everywhere vs. wedding venue w/ bountiful florals and intricate architecture). No pressure – am I right?

Anyways, it eventually came time to pull myself together and start the walk into the building and down the hall to her room. Our friend met me outside, and we walked slowly as we talked about precious memories, family traditions, and what the last few weeks had been like for her and her family. You could feel the love radiating through the halls, growing stronger as we got closer to her Grandmother’s room.

Capturing the Love in the Room

Like I’ve said before, end-of-life portraits can come with such a polarizing set of emotions. The delicate combination of decades of unconditional love paired with the heartbreaking tragedy of losing someone is sometimes a hard thing to navigate, even as a Photographer looking from the “outside in”. My goal for the session, like all end-of-life sessions, was to be a fly on the wall. To allow the moments to be as they are – not posed, not forced, all pink noses and puffy eyes included. I whispered these intentions to her and her mom, and quietly moved from corner to corner as they held her hand, reminded her of memories together, and even sneakily offered her a sip of some coffee.

As a Photographer – something I’ll never get over is being trusted with times like these. It was truly an honor to get to witness the palpable love that was overflowing towards this precious woman from her family. My goal was to be like a speck of dust – completely unnoticed as I allowed them to go through the motions and emotions that come with saying your final goodbyes to a loved one. By the end of the session, I was less of a speck of dust and more like a bucket of endless tears as each second that passed left its impression on me. I am forever grateful to her and her family for allowing me to document these moments for them to cherish forever.

Truth be told, though, this was my first “outside hire” end-of-life session. It’s just who I am to wonder as I’m leaving if I was too much, too noticeable, too in-the-way, or maybe not enough of something else. That’s when I realized that sessions like these are really where I get to decide what kind of Photographer I want to be for my client. Do I want to be the Photographer that’s seemingly made of steel, or do I want to be the Photographer who is able to cry with my clients if they/I need to AND take beautiful, timeless photos? Well, to me the answer is obvious.

Closing Sentiments

First, I would like to say a huge thank you to our friend and her family for trusting me and allowing me into such a sacred, cherished, and intimate moment with your Grandmother. The incredible strength that you all have carried I know feels heavy, but the love that surrounds you is so obvious and deeply genuine. You truly are the best example of how we all would be lucky to leave this world behind – comfortable and surrounded by the love that you raised.

Till we meet again

Katelynn | Ruhe Liebe Photography